Little Gym Drama

I decided to take Henry to Little Gym after work on his real birthday. They have a free introductory class, so why not? We went to the 5:45 class. He had just had a big bottle of milk and some snacks, so I thought we were all set and just threw in some goldfish just in case.

He acted like he had never seen people before. He was so clingy and would not let me put his down. Still acting like he was hungry, we went in the waiting room and had a few more goldfish. He would come alive for a minute, but then back to the clinginess. It was so NOT his personality...just strange.

The girl running it came up to me and said, "For the shy babies, they usually get excited when the balls and the bubble time starts."

Um yeah honey, this baby ain't shy. He's just having an off day! Enough with the 3rd degree!

So, we got home, both of us plum worn out. I'm still wondering what was going on with him.

I look down and my fly is undone.

OMG- how long has it been this way?! I was sitting indian style during little gym letting it all hang out! No wonder I thought the parents were giving me dirty looks.

"Hey, let's welcome the weird child predator lady!"

Henry was trying to tell me to get the heck out of there and save us all the embarrassment.

We can never go back there.

.....flashback to traumatic childhood memory.........

I am 14 years old. I weigh maybe 80lbs soaking wet, but I think my new perky 32A's are quite niiice. I buy a bathing suit at the sexy bathing suit place known as The Gap. It is a beige bikini with flowers on it. In denial over my pale skin from an early age, I decide that once I get a tan it will look really good. Right now, it frankly resembles my skin tone just a wee bit.

Fast forward to a hot summer day when I decide to try it out by laying out in the backyard. I go out to get the mail to see if my new Seventeen magazine has arrived. We live across the street from a park. I strut my stuff out to the mailbox and hear these boys yelling, "Whoa, look at that girl!"

I am so excited. I must be looking hot to get catcalls from across the street.

Two days later, we receive a call from the local police department.

Apparently, an indecent exposure claim was filed stating that I walked out of my house in the nude.

Commence tears & much humiliation. The ordeal was solved when a private investigator and my whole family walked across the street and forced me to walk outside the house in my bikini again to make sure we were telling the truth.

My dad decided I would never wear that bathing suit ever again.

The sad thing is, these moments do not stop at age 14.

A guy from The Little Gym called on Saturday to try and re-schedule our visit.

For a minute, I thought it might be the cops.

Love,

Lyndsey, Marc, Henry, and Betsy